whenever i listen to a song from earlier than like 1995 on youtube and all of the comments are “im 12 and im listening to this lol fuck todays music(:”
when the doorbell rings and i know it’s the pizza guy
‘I Don’t Know What I Did But It Worked’ — A thrilling story about my academic life
my celebrity crushes always start with “who the hell is this” and always turn into “that’s his right nostril I can tell”
Today on Social Anxiety Theatre: mentally rehearsing elaborate justifications for completely innocuous actions just in case some hypothetical interlocutor demands an explanation.
sorry i can’t go to school my earphones aren’t working
a moment of silence for all those cool ideas you had when you were falling asleep that you totally thought you’d remember but tragically didn’t in the morning.
i am so jealous of all the people who are comfortable with who they are physically and mentally